Hideocious Discoverations
by Green-blooded
Summary: What happens when a fangirl tells the three main characters the definitions of names such as 'Fiyeraba' and 'Gelphie?


**AN:** _Ok, so this idea was born while reading __**"The Invasion of the Ozheads"**__written by __**ElphabaROCKS**__(check it out and her [I am 90% sure of this] other stories). The 'Wicked Pledge' and a few other bits come from there too (it's not stealing…it's borrowing with intent to return slightly different-looking) and I changed them slightly to fit better. **(Please read the disclaimer re: the Wicked Pledge on ElphabaROCKS's story)**. If anyone gets mad I will re-word it… *I luvs you my…fwiend(s)* PS: It ended up kind of long, but I don't have the heart to edit it…sorry :-D_

**AN#2:**_ This is my** interpretation** as to what would happen if **two straight women** found out people thought they were involved in a sexual relationship. **I am not Gelphie-bashing. I am not a homophobe**. Imagine for a second you were 100% hetrosexual, as was your best friend, and someone explained to you that, in the mind of a few million people, you and your friend were involved. That is what I attempt to bring across in this story. **If you are so attached to Gelphie that you cannot imagine this reaction...don't read the story.**  
_

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing. I like to borrow things from other people who are cleverer than me.

"What is that noise?" Elphaba looked up from her book, a 1000-odd pager titled: All Animals are Equal; but some are More Equal than Others.

Galinda looked up from the sea of makeup she had surrounded herself with in an attempt to colour-code her dresser drawers. Theoretically it should be making things easier for her, but when the predominant colour one owns is pink…well, there is only so much that can fit into a drawer. "Someone's screaming hysterically…and no, it is not me…I don't think." She looked down at the two palettes of eye shadow she was comparing: Slightly Sparkly versus Sweetly Seductive.

Elphaba rolled her eyes. "Wow, one would think that one would know what sounds they make…unless you phonate without realising it."

"Big words Elphie…you are using big words again. Use your little words, like we agreed."

Elphie smiled and was about to poke fun at her friend when another shriek was heard. This one sounded as if it came from the grass verge outside the dormitory window. Elphaba placed a marker in her book and uncurled herself to go and look. Before she had even finished stretching out the kinks in her spine Fiyero rushed in to the room, bolting the door behind him.

"Dearest…?" Galinda looked up from her tidying, and then eventually decided that categorising a million different shades of pink just wasn't going to work. She chucked the boxes and tubes haphazardly into her drawer and went over to Fiyero, who was still wide-eyed with shock. "What's the matter dearest? You look frightened. Come, sit sit here." She patted the end of her bed and he sat down with a sigh deep enough to disturb the dust bunnies.

Elphaba grimaced. She remembered all too well what had happened to her the last time Galinda had told her to 'sit sit' anywhere. As she walked over to the window she subconsciously raised her hand to her head in memory of the pink flower that had sat their once. She blushed, remembering how that was the day Fiyero and her had saved the lion cub…she didn't want to remember that day. It was a bit awkward to have feelings for your best, and only, friend's boyfriend.

As she was about to open the shutters to look out the window, Fiyero leapt off the bed with a loud cry of "Elphaba, don't!" He grabbed her arm and pulled her back so fast that she stumbled slightly and fell into him. Her hand accidentally grazed certain parts of his anatomy she was trying very hard not to think about, and she jerked away from him with such force that she ended up on the floor.

Fiyero reached his hand down to help her up, but she sprung up before he could touch her. "What in Oz name Fiyero!" she hissed in embarrassment.

"It's not safe out there Elphaba. There are…strange people out there. They chased me…screaming things…I had to come here for safety! You can't go to the window…it's not safe!" Fiyero went back to sitting on the bed with his head in his hands.

"I am going to see who they are and what they want," Elphaba defiantly opened the window. At the appearance of her face, a huge shout went up from the crowd. Elphaba went slightly pale; there were…millions…of them. Suddenly the group broke into chant:

"_We, the fangirls, pledge allegiance to anything Wicked related:_

_We promise to remember Elphaba, whenever we see something green,  
And we promise to remember Galinda when we're trying not to be mean.  
We promise to remember Fiyero, whenever we think the least,  
And we promise to remember Nessarose, whenever we travel East."_

As they said each line the group of girls, with a few guys dotted in between, became louder and louder. It was getting harder to make out the words clearly, but Elphaba had always been good at listening.

_"We promise to remember the Wizard, when we think that lies are better,  
And we promise to remember Madame Morrible, whenever there's a change in the weather.  
We promise to remember Boq, when we don't get our first choice,  
And to remember Dr Dillamond, when they try to silence our voice.  
We promise to love Wicked, who cares what people say?  
Wicked will be in our hearts and minds, every single day."_

Elphaba stepped back into the room and went to her desk. While her memory was still fresh, she wrote down the chant and passed it over to Galinda and Fiyero. "That's what they are chanting. What does it mean? Is it a spell, do you think?" Elphaba went over to her shelves and pulled out a few reference books.

"How…how do they know our names?" Galinda seemed frightened. "What if they are stalkers Elphie? I have never had a stalker before!" Fiyero put his arm around Galinda, but managed to catch Elphaba's eye. They shared a quick grin as they both thought of Boq, and then Elphaba went back to paging through her books.

"The screaming has changed," Elphaba looked up. "It's no longer excited screaming. That's the sound of someone, or many someones, in pain."

"How can you tell the difference?" Galinda was intrigued. "Screaming just sounds like screaming."

Fiyero, being the man, decided to be the man and bravely went to the window. "Elphaba's right. They are fighting each other." The two girls joined Fiyero at the window and the three watched the brawling for a while.

"That chant, it's not a spell as far as my books can tell me." Elphaba watched as a group of girls in pink started throwing rocks at a group dressed in green and black. "It actually sounds a lot like that stupid thing we have to say at the beginning of every Assembly. You know, the 'I swear by the Wizard that I will do no harm to human with the knowledge I will learn at Shiz' speech."

"Nice paraphrasing, very cleverly worded." Fiyero had always found that speech too long and boring to remember. Elphaba's version was so much easier to understand. "You are right though, it does." Fiyero smiled at Elphaba, who couldn't help but smile back at the compliment.

"Ooh…one of the green ones is bleeding!" Galinda interrupted.

"They seem to be in different groups. Each group has a different colour, and there are different words on their shirts." Fiyero, having been taught hunting skills, had the keenest eyes of the trio.

"Can you make out the words dearest?"

"The ones in plain green have Elphaba's name on them. The plain pink ones are your name. The blue ones are mine. Then there are silver ones that say Boq and red ones that say Nessarose. It all becomes pretty confusing after that."

"Confusing how?" Elphaba squinted at the crowd, trying to make out names in the fray.

"Well, then you get the two-tone shirts. Green-blue say Fiyeraba. Pink-green are labelled Gelphie and pink-silver are labelled Gloq. Um…there are a few others…blue-pink have the label Flinda and silver-red say Bessa. That's about it."

"Why are they fighting? And I wonder what those strange words mean. Some of them sound a lot like what our names would sound like if we made acronyms out of them." Elphaba pondered this for a while. "We need to talk to one of them. But first, to stop the fighting." She pulled out her notebook and paged through it until she reached the notes she had taken last sorcery class. The Sandman spell.

For a few moments after Elphaba had cast the sleeping spell, she wondered if it would actually work. Madame Morrible had only taught it to her and Galinda a few days before. Within a few minutes however, every single person had fallen to the ground. Silence occurred for the first time that entire morning, and lasted exactly five seconds until Fiyero opened his mouth.

"Are they still breathing?"

Elphaba glared at him. "Of course they are still breathing, stupid. It's a sleeping spell, not a death spell. We aren't in a bad Harry Potter movie!" She crossed her arms defensively across her chest. "Now go down and find one that looks intelligent. Bring her up here and I will wake her up. Then we can talk."

"Why me! Why do I have to go?"

"Because I said so. And because you are the big, strong, manly male. Just go."

Fiyero tentatively tiptoed downstairs, almost tripping over the rainbow of people sleeping in the corridors. That was one powerful spell – it had affected everybody on campus! Glancing around as he exited the building, he noticed a tall redhead slumped over the railings. She was wearing mostly black and green, but she had a blue-green button pinned to her shirt. Fiyero awkwardly grabbed her by the waist and hoisted her over his shoulder in a fireman's lift.

When he got back upstairs, more than slightly winded, he bounced the girl onto Galinda's bed. It was softer and fluffier than Elphaba's so it didn't hurt the prone figure. Elphaba had her notebook open onto the revival spell. All Fiyero could make out were the words 'Dawn' and 'Rouse'. Making a mental note to tell Elphaba how bad her handwriting was, he waited while she cast the spell. The redhead woke up, looked about the room, noticed where she was and whom she was with, and promptly fainted.

"Well, that was useful," Elphaba sighed and sat down cross-legged on her bed. "Nothing I can do now. We have to wake for her head to wake itself up."

It wasn't more than five minutes before the girl began to stir, and a few minutes after than when she opened her eyes. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. When her gaze fell on Elphaba watching her from across the room, she gave a small squeal. When she looked around and spotted Galinda and Fiyero the squeal became louder.

Elphaba winced. "Can you talk, or do you only make dying animal noises?"

The girl was shocked into a moment of silence. "I…I can talk."

"Good. Explain what is happening here."

"I…um…what do you want to know?"

"Elphaba," Galinda chided, "You are scaring the poor thing. Here dear, have some water. Then, tell us about these people. Where do they come from? What do they want? What do the strange words on their clothing mean?"

"Maybe she could introduce herself first," Fiyero interjected.

"Oh, of course, sorry," the redhead gulped down some water and almost immediately regained some sort of normal colour. "My name is Sarah. I am a fangirl…we all are. Even the guys."

"What's a fangirl?" Elphaba absentmindedly twirled some hair around her fingers.

"We are fans, who are girls, who are obsessed with the hit Broadway musical Wicked…do you have internet? I could just plug in my laptop and Google it for you."

The trio of friends looked at each other, none of them wanting to admit that they didn't have the first clue what the redhead, Sarah, was talking about.

"Well, let's see if you have a wireless connection." Sarah pulled a strange, black machine out of her satchel and pressed a few buttons. The machine made a few strange beeps and hisses, and then suddenly a page appeared that sprouted the heading: Google. The trio crowded around the girl and her machine in awe.

"You see, you just type into this box here, and then you click, and then…tada." Sarah showed them Wikipedia articles about a musical called Wicked, and character biographies of each of them.

"So you are saying that we are just some characters in a musical?" Elphaba was shocked. She couldn't even sing!

"Not just a musical. There are at least two books, a movie based on your later lives, as well as a couple of million fanfictions."

"Fanfiction?"Galinda looked up from the laptop. She was very interested in seeing herself on this magic box.

"Yes. Stories written by fans of Wicked that are not part of the original script, hence the fiction part of the title. That's where the pairings come in – the names on the other shirts." Sarah looked around and then started to explain.

"The pairings are based on relationships that fans have picked up on between the main characters. You already know their names from our T-Shirts. Bessa is the relationship between Boq and Nessarose. Flinda is between you, Fiyero, and you, Galinda. Those are the straightforward ones, the ones that are easiest to understand because those relationships are written into the story as romantic relationships. You are currently about halfway through act one of the musical, this particular stage in your lives. After this, the relationships become more…complex. For example, stories that fall into the Gloq category are stories about the relationship between you, Galinda, and Boq."

"I don't know anyone called Boq…" Galinda mused.

"You do. You call him Biq. The Munchkin Nessa is dating?" Elphaba smiled. So fangirls had paired Boq and Galinda. What would Nessa say to that?

"Ooh…ew!" Galinda wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"Um…yeah. Then you get the Fiyeraba category. Those are stories about the…relationship…between you, Fiyero, and you, Elphaba. Some of them can get quite…heated…"

Both Elphaba and Fiyero made simultaneous sounds of disgust. Unbeknown to either of them, they were both wondering if any of those stories would turn out to be true. Galinda pouted. Her best friend and her boyfriend…not right!

Elphaba made a motion for Sarah to continue, although based on the name combination she wasn't at all looking forward to what she thought Sarah would say next. "Gelphie, as the name implies, are stories about the relationship between you, Galinda, and you, Elphaba."

"Well we are best friends," Galinda declared.

"Some speak about friendship, true," Sarah wondered how to word this. "Most of them, however, tell stories about you two as friends…with benefits."

"Oh hell no!" Elphaba jumped out of her seat and her hands flew to her head. "Bad images! Bad images! I curse you! I curse you 'internet' and 'Google' and whoever invented 'Gelphie'. I…ah…gah!"

"I don't understand…" Galinda was still trying to figure out what Sarah had meant.

"Here, let me…" Sarah typed the phrase into Google and opened up the definition for Fiyero and Galinda to read. For a few minutes, there was complete silence, and then Fiyero's face cracked into a smile the same time as Galinda paled and gasped.

"They think that we…Elphie and I…that we…hell no! Not in a million years! That's disgusting! Oh, EW, EW, EW!" Galinda could only make small squeaking noises of disbelief.

"That is by far the most disgusting thing I have ever heard," Elphaba began to pace. "It is going to take me forever to get that image out of my head. And you…" she turned and pointed at Fiyero, who was still grinning like a loon; no matter which combination occurred he still came out best. "You better wipe it from yours too, because it's not going to happen. None of it will. No way, no how." _However, this Fiyeraba stuff doesn't sound like too bad an idea._ "If you don't get rid of those thoughts I swear I will…I will…I will steal Sarah's laptop and start writing stories about you and Boq!"

Fiyero stopped grinning and paled. "You wouldn't…that's…EW!"

Galinda started crying. "What are we going to doo-oo? All these people are draped all over campus, sleeping, in shirts that…that…"

"Insinuate…" Elphaba butted in.

"Yea, that." Galinda gulped. "Shirts that insinuate relationships between people who don't have those types of feelings for each other. What if someone sees them and asks them what all the words mean? What if the school learns about these 'Fiyeraba' stories?"

"I'm more concerned about the 'Gelphies'," Elphaba muttered. "I think I have a way to solve the problem though. Give me a sec." Impatiently she flipped through her book again until she came to one of the first spells Morrible had taught her: Parallel Dimension Time Travel.

Without warning, she muttered the spell under her breath and waved her long fingers over the book. With a poofing noise and a cloud of rainbow sparkles Sarah was gone. Elphaba ran to the window: the fangirls who had littered the ground were also gone.

"There, fixed. Now…none of this leaves this room…understand! If I hear anyone else mentioning 'Gelphie, Gloq, Flinda or any of the others I will hold you both personally responsible…and there is a spell I have been meaning to try on the next person who annoys me!" Elphaba's eyes flashed with enough ferocity and electric charge to light a small country for a month.

Galinda and Fiyero looked at each other and then at Elphaba. Slowly they both nodded. Nether really wanted to mention the incident again, and, with Elphaba's threat hanging over their heads, neither would.

Galinda went to go wash her face in the bathroom, and apply a fresh coat of paint to her face. Fiyero stood up and stretched before heading back to his own room to go spend some time doing nothing.

Once they had both left, Elphaba reached over to Galinda's bed and picked up the forgotten laptop. Quickly and quietly, she stored it in her box of secret things. She was very interested in whipping it out once Galinda was asleep and doing more research into this 'Fiyeraba' thing.

_Maybe dreams do come true…after all, if my whole life is a stage and I am merely a player…why can't the playwright decide who ends up loving whom._


End file.
